Listening to the silence
Part of my own story – Commitment to Walking New
A few years ago I felt as if I was in a Cube of fragile glass that was transparent and yet was cloudy if you were to try to look through it – as if it was a very thin fragile piece of marble that you could almost see through – and it was surrounding me – causing my vision to be blurry.
Part of my own life story was a fear of what other people thought of me. This came from my youth where I was always criticized from friends, parents and coaches for about everything I did. They did very little encouragement and was heavy handed with the judgement or fault finding.
As time went on and I experienced a lot of inner resolution and heart healing mainly from a book by John Eldredge called “Wild at Heart”. I discovered that there is more to my life than I had realized and I also gained a lot from another guy by the name of Gary Barkalow who wrote a book called “Its Your Call” and what stood out to me over the years of letting those books and conferences I went to marinate in my soul & spirit was that it was time for me to walk in authenticity of how God designed me. I could sense in my heart that there was more to living life that I was capable of and yet I am blind to it.
I can say that I read at least a hundred books on the Christian walk and when I realized that they all started to sound the same to me in certain areas, and this was a bit of a revelation for me that was permission for me to tell the world my own story. Please do not misunderstand my wording – as each persons story is unique and of value and what was impressed on my heart was an understanding that my own story has value and that it can help others by telling it.
One thing that gets a bad rap most of the time is the word ‘persistence’ as it implies drudgery and tormenting of doing something over and over without anything changing.
Well – kind of!
But as you are fueled with a Vision you get a Supernatural form of energy within you that really loves most of what it takes to fulfill your vision.
It is fueled by Passion.
It has a deep sense of meaning so that you keep moving forward instead of being fueled by fear and falling backward. My own story was always falling backward and really felt as if I was in a dark tunnel with no form of light at the end of the tunnel. When I read the scripture that “Without vision you perish” – I was experiencing enough of the ‘perish’ part and realized I lacked Vision!
I remember telling some men in my life about wanting to change careers as something about my business was not working out – it was not building up to what it should be at this point in my life. I was 49 at the time and ‘feeling old’ and considered going to a vocational trade school to become an air conditioning guy or possibly a plumber or electrician – as you always need these guys year round and could easily find work.
So as I have been doing for many years, I went to my journal, got out a pen and started my process of quieting my active mind and was enjoying the next few moments of listening to the silence in my mind – as this is where I hear God, and listening to the silence prepares my mind to ask and listen – so I started with a question: “God, where do you want me to go?”
I hear in my heart: “I want you to stay a hair stylist”
And my reaction was that this was from The Enemy – the Thief who wants me to stay quiet and not share my story – that it was to confuse me – a sign that was from The Enemy of the world – and that I needed to ask again, “God, where do you want me to go? To learn about – plumber or air conditioning?”
Again, with this one deeper in my heart with some base resonance to it – “I want you to stay a hair stylist.” Over the years of listening to God – I realized this was serious and from Him. So, I listened more.
I said, “But it is not working, I am going out trying to meet people, give them my card and I have exhausted all of my current clients with no one left to help me build anymore.”
If I were to show you my work schedule – you would see I had many days with 1 client on that day – a mans cut and some days with 2 clients all day long…and Saturdays were my busy day with a few or 4 for that day with some big ticket services of hair coloring. I had no stock on my shelves as no one was buying products from me = no retail sales.
Back to my God Talk – and I hear in my heart a life changing question, “What do you love to do as a hair stylist?”
I immediatly knew what it was – this was just getting a commitment from me – a way of coming to terms with who I am about and what I love to do – I said, “I love working with Curly Hair!”
Next I heard words that forever changed my path, “Well…your not telling the world.”
I was already specializing in Curly Hair – but NO ONE knew about it!
I was also doing a little bit of everything and needed to FOCUS on what I love to do.
So, if I was to ‘Tell the World’ I needed to learn how and the next stop for me was Barnes & Noble and to get some books on having a web site and also learning about social media – as I was avoiding the social media seen back then because of all the drama it can pick up. But over time I was told that building a business page and having a web site where people that are out there searching for a quality service and content to help them with their curly hair was very much needed – so, I focused on those two areas.
That was a short three years ago – and since listening to God and how He revealed to me to drop The Cube, make a commitment to a Vision and that it was time to live authentically to how He designed me (with all the conflicts and also successes that lead up to it) and commit to something I love doing and to Tell The World about it – it has been a journey of persistence that is of pure joy!
Sure it is hard, challenging and not everyone likes me – and that is ok!
As what persistence has done is brought in the most amazing people in my life to learn from, some that wanted my help to guide them and wanted to learn what I was doing and also to form a team of people that are passionate and share the same goals and desires that I have. A community of people all around the world that shares a passion (really close to a healthy obsession really!) and doors of opportunity continue to open up.
So, I would love to hear your story of how this short series of articles are awakening in you a desire to commit to something you love to do, and how your own version of The Cube can fall off of you or crash as it did for me and to hear your answers to the questions I heard in my own heart of:
To assist you in discovering your Vision – ask yourself or in your journal time with God- What do you love to do?
And to then take the same risk I did with:
To prevent The Enemy from keeping you quiet and feel as though you do not have a voice or a story to tell – “Well…Tell The World!”
And Tell the World over and over – as that is a part of your mission and can help fuel your own Vision as you Walk New.